The Doctor Is In
by DBhawkguy30
Summary: This is AU - What if after killing Uriel, Lucifer decided to go speak to his therapist, and finally reveals his true face? Rated T


Disclaimer: Nope...still don't own anything

Authors Note: So I'm really nervous about posting this one and it's mostly because I haven't written Doctor Linda in any of my stories, so I really want to get her right, love her character.

This is AU - What if after killing Uriel, Lucifer decided to go speak to his therapist, and finally reveals his true face? Rated T

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Linda checked her clock for what had to be the twelfth time in the past half hour. She wasn't worried, certainly not. She knew what her patient was like. Walking in whenever suited him, and on a few occasions interrupting her other sessions. This time though, she felt a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, the one she usually had when things turned bad.

Just as she was about to try calling him she heard a noise outside her office door and she quickly set down her pen and rushed to see if it was him. What she saw when she stepped out made her blood turn to ice and her heart to stutter to a stop.

Lucifer was sat on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite her door with his knees pulled up to his chest, looking like a lost child. That wasn't what made her pause though. It was his clothes. His suit jacket was ripped, his white shirt torn in places. There were splotches of red on the white material and his hands were stained with blood that didn't appear to be his own.

"Lucifer? What happened?" her voice trembled and she took a few slow, measured steps toward him, treating him like she would a wounded animal. She'd seen his reaction to severe emotional distress before and knew if she pushed him for answers, it would result in him either running or lashing out. She needed to keep a level head.

He didn't hear her calling his name, didn't even remember arriving at her office. All he could see was Uriel. His little brother dying in his arms, over and over again. It was like some twisted nightmare that he couldn't wake up from, but then Lucifer knew this wasn't a nightmare, this was reality. He'd killed his brother. He was evil and he deserved to be punished. Lucifer wondered why his father hadn't smited him from existence already, but then this could also be part of his punishment before he was extinguished. This guilt eating him alive was part of his lesson. His dad really did like to make him suffer.

"Lucifer, please? You're scaring me." Linda crouched a safe distance away still facing him, willing him to meet her concerned gaze.

When her voice finally filtered though his turbulent thoughts, he lifted his head. Staring at the good doctor like a child seeking forgiveness, his eyes began to sting once more and he felt the stream of fresh tears flow down his cheeks.

"Help me," he whispered hoarsely, his voice catching as more tears fell.

Linda threw her previous caution to the wind at his broken words and dropped to her knees beside him, wrapping her arms around his trembling shoulders. His sobs got louder and she felt her own eyes begin to burn at the sound of this usually strong, unflappable man breaking down before her. Her own heart was fracturing, her chest felt tight yet she simply held him tighter, hoping her presence might be enough to help him through this. What ever _this_ was.

She whispered words of comfort, already knowing he wasn't hearing anything, though she didn't stop. Repeating the words, was at the very least making her feel like she was doing something productive. Linda couldn't make out what he was mumbling until he lifted his head from her shoulder, his eyes were bloodshot from crying so much, and he still couldn't meet her inquisitive gaze.

He muttered quietly, "I killed him. I killed my brother."

Linda's eyes widened in shock. "Amenadiel?"

Lucifer scoffed and pulled away slightly, shaking his head. He ran his fingers through his already dishevelled hair, making it stand up on end. "No, not Amenadiel, another brother. I have many."

The therapist knew her patient liked to speak in metaphors, but for some reason she was beginning to think that right now, he _had_ done something terrible. She didn't think anyone could put on this much of a performance for their delusion, or at the very least she hoped he couldn't. Linda felt they'd been making headway recently. He'd admitted to being wrong, apologised and spoken about his mother which he never did before. She'd been pleased with his progress.

Though it always had been one step forward and fifteen steps back with Lucifer.

"Come on, let's get you up." She tried pulling his hand, but he refused to budge and she didn't have the strength to lift him by herself. Linda was starting to think she should call Maze.

"Didn't you hear what I said?" he asked, his brow lifting almost comically. "I killed my brother. Dead. He's gone. I'm a monster, Linda. Why are you helping me?"

The Doctor held his head in both her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. "I know you think that, Lucifer, but it's not true. Come into my office and we'll talk ab-"

With seemingly supernatural speed he was on his feet and towering over her. For a second she thought his eyes glowed red, but she dismissed it immediately thinking it was simply a trick of the light shining in through the window.

"No!" he snapped, gripping her shoulders tightly. His face so close to hers that she couldn't look away from his anguished expression. "You need to listen to me, Doctor, you need to understand that it's not a metaphor, that what I say isn't some delusion I've concocted. I need you to believe me."

Linda swallowed nervously, feeling out of her comfort zone and wondering if her patient had finally gone off the deep end.

"Lucifer, you need to be honest with me." She noticed his features fill with apprehension, his dark gaze glistening, though he was listening to her and she tried to keep her excitement from showing, fearful that he might change his mind and not open up to her. This was what they'd been working towards. For so long she didn't think she would get through to him.

"Will that help?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. Of course it will. I want to help you, Lucifer. It's all I've wanted since we first met. Show me. Show me who you really are," she implored him.

The Devil let her lead him into her office, closing the door behind him and turned to help him peel off his suit jacket. He sat in his usual spot across from her and waited for her to sit. She still hadn't said anything about the blood, but he knew she would. Linda was a curious one, and right from their first meeting he'd felt something different for her. He cared for her. In a very different way than he did for the Detective, yet just as powerful. Lucifer was honest with the Doctor, she could draw out his emotions, explain what they meant and more than anything, he was beginning to realise just how much he trusted her. Could he show her his true self?

He faced her, his head cocked to the side as he regarded the mortal in front of him. Seeing the hope in her eyes, her earnest expression and finally his resolve crumbled.

"Very well," he said softly. "I tried to warn you."

Linda was about to ask what he meant, but the words caught in her throat and she froze. She wasn't sure if she blinked, or even breathed in those few seconds as she stared at the red, scorched face of the Devil. His eyes shone bright red, though she swore she could see black swirling from deep within him and it made her shiver. Her bottom lip started trembling and as she repeated over and over again inside her mind, ' _he was telling the truth_.' She almost missed the flash of hurt and his shoulders slumping dejectedly. She wanted to call out, for help or for him not to go she wasn't quite sure, but her mouth wouldn't cooperate.

"I knew this was a mistake," he said despondently, his expression pained. He stood stiffly, picking up his tattered jacket and stopped at the door. Turning to face her one last time he gave her a slight quirk of his lips, which didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Thank you for everything, Doctor. Goodbye."

Doctor Martin didn't know how long she stared at the empty door way, her heart still pounding wildly in her chest and her thoughts in turmoil. He'd been telling the truth this whole time. Her patient really was the Devil. Linda had no idea what to do. Her heart was continuing to fight with her head. She'd seen the hurt in his eyes at her reaction, after all she'd asked him to show her his true self. In her defence she hadn't for one second thought that would be the outcome.

* * *

A Few Days Later

"Lucifer?"

The club owner spun toward the female voice, his drunken smirk dropping at the sight before him.

"Doct'r? What're you doing here?" he grumbled, leaning heavily against the bar counter and motioned for the barman to get him two more drinks.

"I need to speak with you." Linda's eyes widened as downed his drink and then the second before staggering away from her. He looked like he was heading toward his piano, but he stopped and whirled around to face her. His attire was in disarray, a reflection she was sure of his own mental state. She could already see the damage she'd undoubtedly caused him by her rejection.

"We're done talking," he slurred, waving her away like she was some kind of nuisance. "I exposed myself to you, and not in the good way." Lucifer's eyes flashed in warning when she stepped toward him. "Don't! I'd like you to leave. Now."

She wasn't going to, she was ready to defend her actions but when she heard his voice crack, and his mouth form the word, " _please_." Linda was sure in that moment that her heart broke in to a million pieces. She might have taken some time to come to terms with everything, with Maze' help, but Lucifer had used that time to fall back into old habits, he was self destructing and it was all because of her.

She finally relented, knowing now was not the time. "Okay, Lucifer. I'll go, but please, when you're ready, talk to me. I'm ready to listen, I just needed some time to digest everything. My door is always open."

The Devil smiled at her and she thought maybe he had changed his mind. But his eyes were cold and dark. There was no hint of the man she'd spent so much time with, that she cared for.

"Well feel free to shut it."

* * *

Linda tried not to let her excitement show as she stared across at her patient. It had been almost a week since she visited him at Lux and was asked to leave. She'd been surprised by his unexpected arrival, but seeing him dressed in a new suit, a picture of perfection once more she was thankful that he had finally accepted her invitation.

After he'd rebuffed her offer at his club she had felt her heart sinking. She thought that was it between them. They needed a clean slate. Linda was ready to start mending their friendship and she was hopeful that Lucifer being here meant he wanted the same thing.

She watched as his gaze drifted around her office, never settling on anything in particular though still refusing to meet her eyes. He sat stiffly, almost as if he was ready to bolt at a moments notice. That wasn't an option this time.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer. Truly." Linda leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees and stared at the handsome man. How was it possible that he was the actual Devil? While Maze had been helping her, reminding her that they were both still the same people, that nothing had really changed. They were Lucifer and Mazikeen, the Devil and his Demon and Linda had finally come to terms with the fact her patient wasn't actually crazy and had been honest with her from the beginning. She really couldn't ask for anything more.

He lifted his head slightly, but still didn't say anything.

"We have all done things in our past that we wished we could erase. I should have been more focused on the here and now, and how far you've come. Instead I let the image and the stories of the Devil colour my view and that was wrong. You are so much more than that. I've seen you grow, helped you deal with the emotions you were faced with and learned so much about the type of man you really are." She poured all her emotions into her speech, needing him to believe every word.

"And what kind of man am I, Doctor?" Lucifer asked softly, finally meeting her gaze.

"You are the most honest, caring, passionate man I have ever met."

The Devil scoffed and pushed himself to his feet. Pacing back and forth in front of her, unable to sit still as his thoughts continued to swirl around in his head.

"You don't know me very well then Doctor. In case you forgot, I killed my brother. I took his life. How does that not make me anymore evil than the humans I punish for all eternity?" He flopped back on the chair and covered his face with both hands.

Linda stood from her chair and moved to take a seat next to the struggling man/Devil and carefully grasped his larger hand within her own, pulling it away from his face and offering what little comfort she could. "You must have had a reason, Lucifer. I do know you. Please, tell me what happened."

With a stuttered breath he finally started to explain. "He came to take my mum, threatened the Detective's life if I didn't hand her over and once I tried to reason with him, he revealed that he was carrying Azrael' blade; the Angel of Death. Meaning he wasn't just trying to take my mum back to hell, he was going to kill her." He squeezed her hand tighter as he spoke, thankful for the connection. "She would just be gone, no heaven, no hell, just an empty void. He then threatened to take out both my mother and the Detective and it would simply look like an accident. Uriel has-had the ability to see things, like patterns. He knew what chess piece to move in order to cause chaos or in this case, by pressing a single key on a piano, he had set in motion events that would take the Detective' life. I couldn't let him take her from me."

"Your mother?" she questioned already knowing the answer.

"Chloe."

"You love her, don't you?"

"I'm the Devil love, it's not in my nature." Lucifer released her hand and tried not to think about how nice the simple gesture had been.

"But you're growing here, Lucifer. Evolving. Becoming the man you want to be. Was that not the point of coming to LA?"

"I suppose it was. But what does that mean Doctor? To love, to be loved in return? I don't think I've ever known what that is truly like." His brows drew together as if trying to recall ever having those feelings before, but instead he just looked lost. Lucifer dark eyes bored into her own, and she couldn't look away. He was pleading with her to have the answer. To help him.

"Being in love is to be with someone you couldn't imagine living without, someone who you would move heaven and hell for, just to see them smile. That person you wake up every morning thinking about and can't wait to see. They make you feel alive and even though you might've thought you were living the last, how ever many years, once you find them you realise you hadn't been living at all." The Doctor watched a myriad of emotions pass across the Devil features and then he was smiling softly.

"She makes me forget all the terrible things I've done. She makes me _want_ to be better."

"That's good Lucifer. You just need to admit those feelings to yourself and to Chloe. I believe she is what you have been searching for without even realising what it was. You came to LA to reinvent yourself, and you have. The Devil is in love." She grinned at his wide eyed stare and couldn't help chuckling at the flush that spread across his cheeks. She's had embarrassed the Devil. How crazy her life had become?

Lucifer swallowed audibly, an uncomfortable weight pressing against his chest and sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly he had to move, had to get up and...and what did he need? Breathe, yes that was it. He felt the Doctor' hands touching his face and over the sound of his heart beat pounding in his ears he was sure he heard her ask if he was alright and that he needed to breathe. What did she think he was trying to do?

"Breathe, Lucifer," Linda ordered firmly, trying to keep the worry from her voice.

He nodded and tried to pull away yet the tiny human was surprisingly strong and kept him firmly in place. After a few more deep lung fulls of air, he felt a little better. Still shaky but didn't feel like he was going to pass out any time soon. That was odd, and terrifying. Lucifer cocked his head as he stared at the Doctor who was staring at him with a crinkled brow, her eyes full of concern for her patient.

"I'm fine."

With a nod she released her grip on his head and stepped back.

"I think we may need a few sessions before you tell Chloe anything." Linda saw a mixture of fear and gratitude flitter across his features. It was obvious he was scared of the feelings the Detective brought out in him, but at the same time he couldn't walk away from her.

Lucifer absently fixed the cuffs on his jacket and made to walk around the smaller woman, thinking that they had reached the end of their session. He wasn't willing to push her too much, not when she'd seen the real him and was still willing to help him.

Linda stopped him from leaving with her hands placed against his chest. She could feel his heart thundering again her fingertips. He stared down at her curiously as she placed her hand directly over his heart. It was still so new to her, heaven, hell, demons and angels. The Devil himself standing in her office, in need of her aid.

"It's so strange," she mumbled softly.

He dipped his head. "What is?"

"How similar you are to us. You still look human. Have just one heart."

Lucifer chuckled. "Well my father did make you all in our image. He just decided not to give you the immortality or wings. He did give you the ability to procreate, something I still don't understand." He shook his head in disgust at the very notion.

Linda smiled, he was starting to sound more like himself. "I'm sorry for how I reacted, Lucifer. It might have taken me a few days to sort my thoughts and feelings, but I still want to help you, if you'll let me?"

Lucifer grasped her hand still on his chest and brought it to his lips. Placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand and then in an out of character show of comfort, he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Smiling when she returned the hug just as fiercely. Perhaps this kind of touching without it leading to sex was enjoyable, although he'd still prefer sex.

"I've missed you, Linda."

She had to tilt her head to look up at him, realising just how tall the man was when she was right next to him. She barely reached his chest.

Offering him a beaming smile, Linda nodded.

"And I've missed you."

They finally broke apart and Lucifer returned to his spot on the sofa. Linda moved to sit in her chair across from him, crossing her legs and readying her pen.

"So you're ready to help the Devil, Doctor?" he asked, folding his hands and resting them on his lap.

"The Doctor is in." She responded, tapping her pen against the blank page. "Let's start from the beginning."

"From me coming to LA?"

"In order to help you, I need to know everything Lucifer. Tell me what happened to you, from the very start." Making herself comfortable because she was sure this was going to take some time. She gave him an encouraging nod to start.

"We could be here a while," he told her.

"As long as it takes."

Lucifer smiled warmly. He hadn't lost her, she was still there for him and was going to try to help him knowing exactly who and what he was. Perhaps there was hope for the future, and the Detective might be able to come to terms with who her partner really was. But right now he'd let Doctor Linda attempt to help heal other parts of him before he opened himself up to another.

It was going to be a long road.

One he wouldn't be facing alone.

The End.


End file.
